


The Only Alpha to Your Omega (Version I)

by TVland4ever



Series: Alpha and Omega [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 1st Version, Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Omega Dean, Sequel to Part 1, part of a series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-15 05:20:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3435050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TVland4ever/pseuds/TVland4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SEQUEL to "I'm the Alpha and the Omega". Takes place five years after the events of its prequel. First version with Castiel/Dean pairing. I strongly recommend you to read the 1st part first for this to make sense.</p><p>Are true mates really such a powerful thing that they can't escape fate?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Familiar Face

…FIVE YEARS LATER…

Dean was sitting on top of a wrecked car in Bobby’s salvage yard and was staring at the early afternoon sky; a bottle of beer clutched tightly in his right hand and a piece of paper and a photograph in the other. Two days ago, Sam had gotten engaged to his girlfriend Jess and his brother was not invited. Jess, however, had managed to send him a photo from their engagement and a letter, asking for Dean’s understanding to Sam’s behavior and this had made Dean even more upset.

“I’ll be right in”, Dean said, when he heard Bobby approaching.

Bobby let out a tired sigh.  
“That’s not why I’m here. Are you okay?” he asked concerned. Dean was the closest thing Bobby had to a son and after John’s death, Bobby was the closest thing Dean had to a father, and it made the old man really sad to see the boy so hurt.

“Yeah, I’m just peachy!” Dean replied and took a sip of his beer.

“You know, there’s no point in staring at that photo and that letter… It won’t change anything. I know you are upset about it, Dean, but you eventually need to get over it. I don’t like seeing you like that. I’m telling you, the next time I see Sam, I’ll kick his ass.” Dean snorted at Bobby’s comment.

“Well, it’s not that easy to get over it. He’s my brother, Bobby. I think I’m entitled to be upset about the fact that my own brother didn’t even call to tell me that he was getting engaged. That dick Samuel has him wrapped around his little finger. But of course; he’s paying for the kid’s college tuition; what the hell did I ever do to deserve his love and respect? I’m nothing but a failure and Sam knows that. I can’t even afford my own place. That’s why he got sick of me and doesn’t even want to talk to me”, Dean said bitterly.

“That’s not true. You’re not a failure, Dean. You’re just going through a rough patch. You’ll get on your feet again, there’s no doubt about that”, Bobby argued, as he got closer to the Omega.

“Yeah, sure I will… It’s been nothing but a pile of shit for me since I turned into an Omega. You’re the only one I am safe to work around, because of what I am. I can’t even help Ellen out at the bar, because of my stupid Omega scent.”

“Dean, you’re a wonderful human being and you need to start seeing that. Being an Omega doesn’t define you. You’re a good man, with manners, a hard worker… The people who don’t see that are plain idjits. Your father would be proud of what you have become. Everyone expects Omegas to be powerless, but you took your life into your own hands and proved everyone wrong. And that is admirable. Not everyone could have done what you did, after everything you’ve been through”, Bobby said and patted him on the back. Dean was lucky to have Bobby in his life. Bobby was one of the few people that never let him down. And even though, they weren’t actually related, he acted more like it than his actual family.

“Thanks, Bobby. It means a lot to me that you believe that, but before I start growing an actual vagina and become a proper girl, could we please go back to work? It’s bad enough that I’m an Omega”, Dean whined, ending the heartfelt conversation. He never felt comfortable talking about his feelings.

Bobby just rolled his eyes at that.  
“You’re an idjit… But you’re right, we need to get back to work, because we have a car that needs to be fixed ASAP. Some guy dropped it off earlier, while you were out here and said he needed it, because he had a wedding to catch or something. His brother or sister is getting married; I don’t really remember. He said he’s staying at the town’s motel and gave me his room number to contact him, when the car was ready. We need to have it running and ready to go by tonight. The guy’s offering a lot of money.”

Dean looked at Bobby with a confused expression on his face.  
“And if he has so much money, why doesn’t he just get on a plane?” he asked, as they both started to walk towards the garage.

“Beats me! He might just really like his car or he might just be really terrified of planes… Here, that’s the one” Bobby said, as he pointed at a '78 Jubilee Gold Lincoln Continental Mark V, parked in the front of the garage.

“Are you kidding me? That’s the car? What is this guy, a pimp?” Dean wondered, while circling the car, checking it out.

“I don’t know and I don’t care. Like you said, let’s stop talking and get back to work” Bobby replied and Dean nodded.

…Α-Ω…

It was close to nine, when the car was finally done and Dean was taking a few final looks to make sure it ran properly. Bobby emerged from his office and had a grumpy look on his face.

“What’s the matter? Something happened?” Dean asked, although he already knew the nature of Bobby’s grumpiness. It was always the same reason. Ellen. Those two were really funny to be around. They were like those typical old married couples and Dean couldn’t get enough of teasing them. Bobby had married Ellen a few years back, a long time after his wife Karen had passed away. Ellen had become a widow, when Jo was about eight years old and ever since, Bobby had been like a father to her also.

“Nothing new. Ellen just conveniently asked me to run another errand for her for the Roadhouse; like she doesn’t have other people working for her and I haven’t been working all day myself”, Bobby said, as he fixed his baseball cap on his head and wore his jacket, while sighing deeply.  
“I have to go, if I want to catch the store open, but I can stay, if you want me to. I don’t want to leave you alone with an Alpha. I called the guy and he said he’d be here in a few minutes for the car. He won’t be too long. I can wait.”

“Bobby, it’s okay, don’t worry about it. Go do what you have to do. I can protect myself just fine. I don’t think the guy would be so stupid to jump at me. You have his name and everything”, Dean said and Bobby looked guilty.

“Well, actually, I just have his first name. He didn’t give me his last name and I didn’t ask.”

“Bobby, are you serious? How many times have I told you to get their whole names? What kind of business are we running here, to know everyone just by their first names?”

“Sorry, old habits die hard. I used to know everyone back in Lawrence that came to my garage and I still haven’t gotten used to the fact that I don’t know many people here and certainly not that well.” The Winchesters had gone back to Lawrence three months before John had a stroke and after John’s death and after Sam turned into an Alpha and abandoned Dean, Bobby was kind enough to move with Dean and Ellen to South Dakota, near a town called Sioux Falls, because he didn’t want Dean to stay alone in a place that reminded him of everything. Besides, Dean couldn’t afford to keep the place. So, Bobby didn’t mind at all to move his business at a whole different place, even though no one knew him here and it would be hard for him to get back the number of clients he had back in Lawrence. On the upside, however, Ellen’s new bar was doing fine and it was an additional income that was much needed and she looked happier here. It wasn’t just Dean that needed a change of scenery.

“It’s okay. Just don’t do it again. And don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Now go or Ellen will kill you.”

“So, you’re okay with locking up?”

“You’re asking as if I have to go someplace else. I live right upstairs, Bobby”, Dean smirked and Bobby rolled his eyes again.

“Don’t be an idjit. I thought that perhaps you wanted to go out tonight. It’s a nice evening.”

“I’ll think about it. Goodnight, Bobby”, Dean replied and waved at the older man.

“Goodnight, boy”, Bobby said and then left.

…Α-Ω…

Half an hour later and the guy still hadn’t shown up and Dean was starting to get tired of waiting, when suddenly he heard the front door open.

“In here”, he shouted from Bobby’s office in the back and waited, while he heard steps approaching. The closer those steps were coming, however, Dean felt his heart beating faster and faster, and clutched the two rings that were hanging from a chain around his neck, inside his T-shirt. He would have recognized the sound of those steps anywhere; but it couldn’t be, could it?

Trying his hardest to make his heart stop beating so fast and get his breathing under control, Dean lifted his head up slowly and watched as a man he never thought he would ever see again walked through the door and stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing Dean behind the desk.

From the look on the other man’s face, which was carved there before he even stepped inside the office, Dean knew that the Alpha had recognized his voice and knew it was him, before he saw him. Confusion, desperation, relief… love were all mixed on his face. The rings inside Dean’s shirt started to burn now, right over his heart, as the other man’s scent reached him.

“Dean?” the Alpha mumbled in disbelief.

“Cas?” Dean muttered, while he stared at the man that five years ago had shattered his heart into a million pieces. His true mate. The person that Dean thought he could never stop loving, but would never trust again.

“What… how? I mean, what are you doing here? You’re working here?” Castiel asked, approaching the desk hesitantly and cautiously.

“I… I could ask you the same question. What are you doing here?” Dean asked instead of answering, as he watched the Alpha steady himself, grabbing the edge of the desk and sitting across from him on one of the chairs in front of Bobby’s desk.

“I… I was just passing through, when my car broke down”, Cas replied after a few moments of silence. It was hard for him to get the words out. All this time, all the things he wanted to say to Dean. Ask him for his forgiveness about everything. The things his real father had done. The things he’d done himself. The worst of them being the fact that he had broken the Omega’s heart. He had managed to hurt deeply the one person he loved the most, above all others. And now fate was giving him a curveball that Cas wasn’t ready for. He didn’t know where to start, what to say. He never thought he would get the chance to see Dean again, although he wished he would; to redeem himself for all of the terrible things he had put the Omega through.

“Wow, just… ain’t life a bitch?” Dean said, letting a nervous sigh escape his lips, as he looked away and got up from Bobby’s chair. He couldn’t look at him. It was too painful, so instead he stared at the wall behind the desk, as he felt the chain get heavier and heavier and tighten around his neck, ready to strangle him. Shutting his eyes tightly, he tried to find the strength to face the Alpha. Ask him all the things he was dying to ask all this time that he suffered on his own, thinking about what he could have possibly done wrong to be left like that; but then again, he didn’t want to know anything. He just wanted Cas out of there. He wanted to go back in time and never see him again. His presence here only served to open his old wounds.

When he had first read that letter, although he had felt his heart break, he actually believed that Cas would get over the pain he felt, when he remembered the truth and that he would go back to him. Their love was too strong, he had thought then. Cas wouldn’t just leave him like that. He would see that he had made a mistake and he would come back. He would ask for Dean’s forgiveness and Dean would be understanding and he would embrace him and never let him go again. But Cas never came back. Two weeks after Cas had abandoned him, Dean decided to leave the apartment they both shared and went back to his family; his dad and his brother. The thought of the two of them made Dean’s heart clench with renewed pain, as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Dean, I… I don’t… I know how you must be feeling right now, but…” Cas started to say, when Dean suddenly turned around to face him, after he wiped away the tear from his face first.

“Don’t, Cas… just don’t. Don’t say that you’re sorry. It’s a little too late for that and honestly, I can’t; I just can’t hear it. You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment. To see you here in front of me, looking like crap from all the guilt and ask for my forgiveness. But after all this time, it doesn’t mean anything anymore. I don’t want to hear it. Let’s save ourselves from the pain and the trouble”, the Omega said and then frantically started searching through the papers on Bobby’s desk and then he stopped, when he came across a piece of paper with the word Jimmy written on it -no last name- the car and the amount of money that was owed.

“Dean, please… just let me talk to you”, Cas tried, but Dean interrupted him again.

“You told Bobby your name was Jimmy, why? If you didn’t know I was here. And what’s with the car? Since when are you driving cars like that? I thought you liked those hybrid pieces of shit that Sam likes too. I didn’t take you for the type of guy who would drive something like that”, Dean asked, staring at the Alpha.

Cas, feeling the heaviness of Dean’s stare, looked down at his hands that were moving nervously on their own volition.  
“I truly didn’t know you were working here, Dean. I just… I changed my name a long time ago or, to put it in better words, decided to start introducing myself with my middle name. That man’s voice calling me Castiel got branded into my brain. I just couldn’t hear anyone calling me that name again. It was too painful. My family still calls me Cas, but I don’t see them that often. As for the car, I guess it’s part of the new me. A lot of things have changed since you last saw me. Dean, I…” Cas tried to explain and tell the Omega the things he actually wanted to say, but Dean wouldn’t let him.

“Please, don’t go there. I told you it’s too late and I don’t want you to tell me anything. I don’t want you to say you’re sorry. Let’s just keep this professional, okay? Or just talk about other things, I guess, but please just don’t. It’s been a long time and we’re both adults. Let’s just act like it”, Dean said and paused.

“Forgive me. I understand. I’m not trying to upset you, Dean. You are right”, Cas agreed and Dean snorted to himself. He wasn’t going to give Castiel the satisfaction to see him break in front of him.

“So, how’s the family? Bobby told me that you were going to a wedding. I’m assuming Michael’s, since I know for a fact that Gabriel and Jo aren’t getting married anytime soon”, Dean said, changing the subject. It was easier to start talking about the rest of the family, instead of acting like they didn’t know each other at all and be all professional about it; and since he didn’t even want to scratch the surface of their own past, this was a safe topic.

Over the course of the past two years that Jo was still working as Michael’s assistant at the company, she had come very close to Gabriel and they were now romantically involved; but it was still sort of new and besides, Jo had told Dean that Michael was getting married again and Dean knew that the wedding was in two days. Jo had even asked him, if he was okay with the whole wedding thing and Dean had told her that he was fine and since he knew she was going to be there, he had told her to have a great time with Gabriel.

“Yeah, Michael is getting married on Saturday morning. I was in Washington, visiting my mother to make sure that she wouldn’t show up at the wedding uninvited. She’s been trying to get back into our lives with no result and we were afraid that she would cause a scene at the wedding. She’s been calling Michael’s fiancé and trying to make her meet her”, Cas explained and Dean nodded.

“So, how is Michael? Jo told me that he seems very happy with his bride to be”, Dean said and sat back on his chair, preparing a receipt for Cas.

“Yeah, he is. Sarah is a great old friend of mine. She’s actually Anna’s best friend, but Michael had never really met her before. He had seen her only during my wedding with Anna, but they were both in other relationships then. I’m glad to see them happy together. I’m glad that my brother found his happiness again, especially after everything that happened with Lucifer and uncle Zachariah.”

“Yeah, I heard. I always knew that Zachariah was a snake, but I never thought he would go that far. How is Chuck dealing with him and Lucifer being in jail?” Dean asked him then. As they fell into the conversation, it was easier for Dean to pretend that he was just talking to an old acquaintance of his and not his former mate. The one who broke his heart. 

Three years ago a new scandal about Michael’s company had seen the light. Lucifer, along with Zachariah and that piece of shit, Dick Roman had tried once again to rob Michael of his company by planting false evidence to accuse him of money laundering. Jo that was close to everything that was happening during that time, had informed Dean about all and so, Dean knew about the situation. Fortunately, the scam was revealed and all three of them ended in jail.

“Dad is sad about it, but he understands that it is right and that Michael and the whole family would never be safe with them around. I just feel sorry for Samandriel and Naomi. They had nothing to do with this and they don’t deserve all the humiliation that their family is still going through. Michael as leader of the clan tried to protect them, but the others wouldn’t have it. They said that betraying the leader is like betraying the whole clan and their rights and benefits from being part of the clan were revoked. They said that if the truth hadn’t been revealed the name of the whole clan would have been stained forever. You understand how it works with clans so powerful like ours. They don’t really care about the people consisting them, just for the name and the money and all the power”, Cas said, sounding disgusted by his own words. 

“I wouldn’t know… I’m not part of a clan anymore. Along with my father died the Winchester clan. And it wasn’t much of a clan to begin with. He was the last Alpha of our clan. We don’t have any other relatives anywhere that we know of. My uncle Bobby wanted me to be a member of his clan, but I refused. I would never become a member of another clan. I want to honor my father’s death by staying loyal to ours, even if it doesn’t exist anymore”, Dean said and lowered his head sadly.

“I’m really sorry about your dad. I wish I could have been there for you…” Cas said, but Dean raised his hand to make him stop talking.

“Cas, please, I don’t want to hear it. You weren’t there, so it doesn’t really matter anymore. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. It was difficult, yes, but I moved past it and I’m okay. Please, stop pitying me and let’s move forward”, Dean said in a stern voice and then paused.  
“This is what you owe us”, he added, placing the receipt in front of the Alpha.

Cas, looking at the amount that was written on the receipt, took out a lot more bills than he actually owed and gave them to Dean.  
“What are you doing? This is too much”, Dean complained and tried to give some of the money back to Cas.

“No, keep it. I told your uncle that I would pay good money, if you had the car running by tonight and you did. You earned this”, Cas argued and Dean nodded, accepting the money. It wasn’t like he had the luxury to turn down well deserved and earned money from his work. He had worked really hard to have the car ready, because he needed the extra money to add them to his savings for a place of his own.

“Let me take you to your car. Here are your keys”, Dean said and gave the car keys to Cas, brushing his hand for a second with his own, while doing so, and feeling once more the heaviness of the rings over his heart, but hiding it well. Then, they both stood up and got out of the office.

“I don’t understand something you said”, Cas paused mid-step and told him. Dean turned to look at him confused.  
“You said that your dad was the last Alpha of your clan. Does that mean your brother became a Beta or an Omega? I was certain that he was going to be an Alpha, when he grew up. Does he live here with you?” he asked and noticed the immediate change on Dean’s expression, the moment he brought up his brother.

“No, Sam did become an Alpha, just like we all expected. He’s just part of a different clan now. My grandfather’s to be precise. He is at Stanford, studying to be a lawyer”, Dean answered seriously and went back to walking towards Cas’ car. The Omega didn’t feel like he owed any explanation about his life to Cas, but the words came out of his mouth anyway. Maybe the Sam topic was a sore spot. He always felt like he needed to talk about him, even if it was to just get this anger he felt off his chest. Cas might have broken his heart, but the Sam thing was what was keeping him up at nights nowadays. He just felt so angry all the time. He couldn’t comprehend how his own brother could have done this to him. He thought they were better than that; that they loved each other.

“Why? I mean, so what? He just left you on your own?” Cas asked disbelievingly, not letting the subject go. The Alpha had seen how much the brothers loved each other and he couldn’t believe that Sam would ever do anything like that to Dean.

Dean turned once more to look at him.  
“I guess that people around me have the tendency to leave me hanging. He wasn’t the first one to do it and he probably won’t be the last. But I don’t blame him. Samuel offered him everything that I couldn’t. He’s paying for all his college funds. I’m a sorry excuse of an older brother. He’s better off without me.”

Cas felt Dean’s words like a stab through his heart. He was now realizing that by leaving him, he had hurt Dean much more than he originally thought and he had turned him into such an insecure person, yet strong. This Dean was much stronger than the old Dean. He just wished he could explain why he did what he did. But something inside him told him that the whole truth would hurt the Omega even more and the said truth was something that he still felt deeply ashamed of.

“Dean, don’t say that. You don’t deserve this. You are wonderful and even though, Sam chose to stand by his grandfather’s side, just so he could go to college, I don’t think he thinks that little of you. The Sam I knew once admired you, protected you and loved you with all his heart.”

“Well, the Sam I know didn’t even bother to invite me to his engagement party. Samuel must be gloating… Look, Cas, I told you that I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, whether that has to do with the things that went down between us or for everything else in my life”, Dean said and Cas tried to mask how sad he felt upon hearing that comment.

“I’m sorry. I mean, I’m not doing this on purpose. I don’t pity you, Dean. I just wish things were different is all.”

“Well, don’t we all? Have a nice life, Cas. Goodbye”, Dean said at last, handing him his car keys.

Cas took them reluctantly in his hand and looked up at the Omega’s eyes. Both of their gazes were saying what their lips wouldn’t.  
“Goodbye, Dean”, the Alpha replied and then after a moment of hesitation got inside his car. When he was finally gone, a tear ran down Dean’s cheek, the façade suddenly slipping from his face.


	2. Hurtful Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I hope you enjoy! :)

“Half an hour later and a few drinks later inside Bobby’s office and Dean was totally plastered. With shaky legs, he got up and fumbled with the key to lock the door behind him, after switching off all the lights. It was time for him to go to bed. The booze didn’t help, but maybe sleep would help stop his head from thinking and his heart from hurting.

He was on his way to go up to his room above the garage, when a dark silhouette caught his eye. After a moment and when his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he realized who the said silhouette really belonged to.

“I thought you left, Cas. What are you still doing here?” Dean asked, trying to compose himself. His drunken state wasn’t really helping the matters and he was afraid he might do or say something stupid that he didn’t have the courage to say when he was sober.

“I couldn’t leave, Dean. I can’t just go back to New York after seeing you like that. The very least I owe you an explanation”, Cas started to say, but Dean interrupted him.

“Look, Cas, I’m not interested in hearing what you want to tell me. I told you it doesn’t matter anymore. I mean, all this time… Damn it”, Dean said and gritted his teeth. His hands looked like he wanted to punch a wall, or Cas’ face, more preferably.  
“You left me, Cas. After everything. After all the drama with your brother and everything else. After all the things you and I had been through. You kept saying that you loved me, all the damn time, but when it was time for you to prove it, you just stood up and left me high and dry. You didn’t even have the courage to tell me goodbye, but wrote me a god damn letter instead. How do you think that made me feel, huh? You just left me with the rings we had exchanged only a few hours ago”, Dean screamed. He was out of control now and he couldn’t care less anymore.

“I know that whatever I say to you won’t change all the bad that I did, that you’ll never forgive me, but I really need to do right by you, Dean. I don’t want to be the reason your life got ruined. I want to give you back all the things I caused you to lose”, Cas said and looked ready to cry. Dean just stared at him.

“All the things you caused me to lose?” Dean asked and snorted sarcastically, as he got closer to Cas.  
“And how exactly are you planning to give me all those things back, huh? Are you going to give me back the five years of loneliness and heartache? What about my dignity? Oh, no no, I have a better one; how about my dead father, hmm? Are you going to bring him back too? He went through hell, because of me and you, and then he died for his trouble. He suffered because of us. Because he found out who you were related to and then because I couldn’t let go of you… the son of my mom’s murderer. You know that? But better yet, what about my mom? I mean, your father was the reason she got killed. Why don’t you bring her back? Tell me, Cas, will you make up for the years I spent without my parents? Are you going to give them back to me?” Dean said and glared at him with all the hatred he could muster.

“I know I deserve all this hate. Whenever I thought of this moment -of meeting you again- I always knew this is what it was going to be like. I don’t blame you for treating me like this. You have every right to hate me and tell me all these harsh things, but I won’t give up on you. I caused you enormous pain and I will see that you become happy again. I may not be able to bring your parents back and make up for the lost time, but I will give you back the life you deserve”, Cas insisted and stared at Dean with eyes that mirrored hope. Hope that Dean needed to crash, if he wanted to keep that game face on. He didn’t want to lose his shit in front of Cas.

“The life I deserve? And what kind of a life is that? I mean, you totally ruined my life. You took away from me the only person that was worthy of my love. You ruined my marriage”, Dean spat back and watched as Cas’ face became pale, upon hearing his words. Bull’s-eye! He knew this comment would hurt Cas the most. Admitting that Michael was the only person worthy of his feelings; that he had feelings for Michael that Cas stepped on and destroyed was a stab through the Alpha’s heart.

“You mean my brother, Michael?” Cas asked after a moment of silence, when he managed to compose himself.

Dean laughed at his comment and his expression.  
“Why, are you surprised to hear that? Yeah, I mean Michael. Michael was the best thing that ever happened to me and then you came and destroyed everything. I wish I’d never met you. I wish that I could still be with him. Maybe by now we would have a kid or two. Perhaps my dad would still be alive. And I would still have my brother at my side. I fell in his eyes and lost him, because of you. If Michael and I were still together, we would have a dreamy life”, Dean said viciously, wanting to hurt Cas. Of course he didn’t really mean it. He didn’t miss Michael. Perhaps he would want to have him in his life as a friend, but nothing more. In the end, Michael and he wouldn’t work. They were incredibly different and Dean hadn’t forgotten that, but he would never admit it in front of Cas.

“You still have feelings for my brother? Is that what you’re saying? Or are you just saying that you would be happy, if you were still married to him and we hadn’t happened? That you would learn to be happy by his side? Because it would be easier?” Cas asked, enraging Dean.

“What makes you think I wasn’t happy with him? If you weren’t insisting so much, making everything so difficult for my marriage, I would be perfectly happy with him. I desired him; I mean, how could I not? He is gorgeous. He was nice to me, a gentleman. I liked him from the first moment I saw him.”

“Yes, but you didn’t love him”, Cas retorted. He just couldn’t keep hearing about Dean and Michael together.

“Says who? For your information, I did love him. It took me a while to understand what it was that I was feeling for him, but now I can say with certainty that it was love”, Dean said and Cas froze.

“What are you talking about? When? We almost made love during the first week of your marriage. I mean we did have sex. You and Michael were fighting all the time. Then, he cheated on you and you and I became a real couple. I don’t believe that you loved him for a second”, Cas said desperately.

“I’m not saying that we didn’t have our problems. Well, you were the main cause of those problems; but we had our good moments too.”

“What good moments? When he made you sign a damn contract? You were unhappy by his side, Dean. Don’t lie to me and tell me that you loved him.”

Dean sighed and then snorted. He just had to prove himself, then.  
“Do you remember that night, just before I found him with Adam?” he asked and Cas nodded.  
“Do you remember how drunk I had gotten, because of everything that was going on between me and Michael? How sad I was, because he was so cold with me? You had to know there was a reason behind this reaction. And this was after all the shit with the contract. I just didn’t care about that anymore. I wanted to make things right between us. That was the day I realized that I loved him. I wanted to make our marriage work, because I wanted him by my side, to be the way we used to be. To become a part of his world again. I couldn’t stand the cold shoulder he was giving me anymore. I wanted him back, because I was in love with him.”

“No, you’re lying. You can’t say that. You don’t mean it. You weren’t in love with him. After you found him with Adam, you and I made love for the first time. You loved me, not him”, Cas screamed.

Dean snorted once more and turned to look at Cas with cold eyes.  
“I was betrayed and broken. Seeing him with that disgusting person hurt me more than you can imagine. I was in love with him and I ran to the company to tell him, only to find him having sex with Adam. That can really mess with a person’s mind, you know that? So, naturally, I had to drown my pain somehow. And what better way was there than to have sex with you? Castiel, the man who claimed to be my true mate, the one who would supposedly always love me and never leave me. You were my safety net, that’s what you were. The person I thought would never betray me, because he claimed to love me more than anything. You were my rebound. I had sex with you to lessen my pain. This was my revenge to Michael. I did the thing I knew would hurt him most. I used his brother. The one he was so afraid of. There was never a real danger. I wouldn’t have left him, if he hadn’t cheated on me. But he did and I had to get back at him.”

“No, Dean, you don’t mean that…” Cas muttered. He didn’t want to believe what he was hearing.

“Oh, but I do. The first weeks of our relationship, I was in love with your brother. I almost caved and ran back to him, during those sessions with the psychologist”, Dean said and a smile spread on his face, remembering.  
“Those sessions. You know she would make me touch him and scent him all the time. I still can’t believe how I held myself back. I was still mad at him for cheating, so that helped, I suppose. And then I would come back at home to you and we would have crazy sex, because of how turned on I was, because of Michael”, Dean said and laughed at Castiel’s expression.  
“What, did you really think you were that good? Or that you were so hot I couldn’t keep my hands off of you? No, it was all because of Michael. I had to put the flame out somehow.”

Cas looked defeated now.  
“So, what you’re saying is that our whole relationship was a lie? That you used me to get over Michael and that you never loved me? That you didn’t even love me when you accepted my proposal?” Cas asked.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I did love you, after a while. I guess it was around the time Michael and I signed the divorce papers. That’s when I realized it was really over. He, then, left the country and I turned to you. And you were there; you were always there for me and I let go. I thought that it was safe to love you, because you wouldn’t leave me, like Michael did. And I let my heart love again, only for you to shatter it in a million pieces. The only reason my break up with you hurt more than the one with Michael, is because I didn’t have anyone to pick up the pieces. When Michael broke my heart, you were there and you put my heart back together. But when you left me… let’s just say I knew love wasn’t in the cards for me. So, yeah… I loved you, but it was the worst mistake of my life”, Dean said in a serious tone.

There was silence that lasted for a few minutes, but then Cas spoke again.  
“I understand”, he muttered and then turned the other way, ready to leave.  
“I should go. I know that you don’t want me here. It was foolish of me to come back. Forgive me.”

“Yeah, I think it’s for the best that you go. Besides, you have a wedding to catch. Just make sure you don’t ruin this one. Give Michael my love”, Dean said to Cas, leaving him utterly broken.

…Α-Ω…

When Cas pulled out of the yard, Bobby put a hand on Dean’s shoulder, appearing from somewhere behind him.  
“Why did you lie to that boy? If you want to ever win him back, hurting him is not the way to do it, boy”, he said, scolding Dean. Dean just snorted at that. All this talking with Cas had helped him sober up again.

“I wasn’t lying and I’m not trying to win him back”, Dean retorted stubbornly, causing Bobby to roll his eyes.

“Oh, yeah? So, you’re telling me that all those shit about your love for Michael was real?” the Alpha asked, not believing him one bit.

“Well, okay, I may overreacted about the time I spent thinking about Michael, while I was with Cas, but it wasn’t a lie. I did love Michael and I… I think I was still in love with him, the first time Cas and I really got together. I was just really hurt; I’m not saying I didn’t have feelings for Cas, ‘cause I did and he did help me to really get over Michael, but I never stopped caring about him. It was true that I was struggling during those meetings with our therapist. My claim on him called out to me. But my love for Cas was stronger, so I didn’t do anything stupid. Now that I’m thinking about it, I wish I had.”

“You’ve never told me about this. I never knew you were in love with Michael. And I didn’t believe it either, when I heard you saying it to Cas. I’m surprised he believed it, after the mental break down, you had in front of him for leaving you”, Bobby said.

“That mental break down, as you call it, had nothing to do with how much I loved him or didn’t love him. He’s just a ghost from the past that ruined my life”, Dean tried to defend himself.

“Oh yeah? And what about those rings you have around your neck?” Bobby asked and Dean blushed, looking away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, he muttered.

“Boy, don’t try to play the smartass with me. We’ve been working and living together for years. You think I haven’t noticed that chain around your neck?” Bobby asked, pointing towards Dean’s neck with his hand.

Dean turned to face him with anger in his eyes, then.  
“The only reason I wear this chain with the rings is to remind myself of never falling in love again. To remember the pain I’ve felt and nothing more. The only two people I ever loved hurt me in the worst way and I don’t want it to happen again. My heart is broken and it is beyond fixing. That is all”, the Omega argued, clasping the chain with the rings that was hanging inside his shirt.

“I hope you remember that the next time that boy shows up at your door, because believe me, even though you hurt him tonight, he ain’t giving up. There was determination in his eyes”, Bobby commented.

“I don’t care what he does, ‘cause I’m determined too”, Dean said and paused.  
“When did you come back anyway?”

“Around the time you were telling him about how hot and bothered Michael was making you at those sessions with your therapist. Just be careful, alright? I don’t want to see you hurt again. Don’t try and mess things up more by lying to him. You don’t know what impact those words might have had on him. If you don’t want him back, stay away from him. I didn’t like that comment you made at the end. These kind of things might have an impact on Jo too, don’t forget that. She’s still working for that family”, Bobby said.

“What comment? The ‘give Michael my love’ thing? Please, I was just trying to get on his nerves”, Dean said defensively.

“Don’t play with fire, Dean, or you might get burned”, Bobby warned.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be more careful from now on”, Dean promised and Bobby smiled at him.

“You’re an idjit”, the older man said affectionately then.

“I know. Goodnight, Bobby”, Dean said, after smiling to him and then walked towards the stairs to his room.

“Goodnight…” Bobby wished him in return.


	3. Travel Companions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a wonderful summer, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

The next morning found Dean staring at the ceiling of his room. He had barely closed his eyes, all night, but had managed to stay relatively calm for the rest of the evening, after the Alpha left. Seeing Cas again, after all these years, and that conversation they had had afterwards had really done a number on Dean, but he didn’t want to let it affect him anymore than it already had. Besides, he spent almost five years with that thorn in his heart and mind and now that he had told Cas what he had wanted to say to him, he had to let go and move forward. So, he made a promise to himself that Castiel would never make him feel desperate and sad ever again and he was planning to stick to that promise.

As his alarm went off on his nightstand, Dean stood up, turned it off and then headed for his tiny bathroom, to have a shower and to brush his teeth. Once he got inside, he removed his shirt and then looked at himself in the mirror, noticing the black bags under his eyes and then the thin chain that the rings were still hanging from around his neck. Without thinking too hard about it, he removed the chain and placed it in a box and put it inside the small cabinet of the mirror. He wouldn’t wear it again. After seeing Cas, he realized that he didn’t need it to work as a reminder anymore. Everything that had happened between them was real; all the pain and all the love and everything in between. But now it was all over and it was time for him to move on with his life without his past holding him back.

After finishing his shower, he got dressed and then with tired steps headed downstairs and towards Bobby’s and Ellen’s kitchen, where he knew food would be waiting for him; but on the way there he found Bobby waiting for him outside in the yard.

“Hey, Bobby, good morning. Why are you out here so early? Did a job come up? Just give me a minute to get some coffee and I’ll come help you”, Dean said, but then paused, when he noticed Bobby’s guilty expression.  
“Is something wrong? What’s the matter? Is Sammy…?”

“No, don’t worry. Everything is fine. Sam is fine. That’s not it”, Bobby hesitated.  
“Look, don’t get mad, but… Castiel is in there. In the kitchen with Ellen and he wants to speak with you”, the Alpha finished.

“What? What the hell does he want now? I thought he would be gone by now. Didn’t he want to go to his brother’s wedding or something?” Dean asked irritated.

“Well, that’s why he’s here. He wants to take you with him”, Bobby said and Dean couldn’t help but stare at him.

“Why the hell would I want to go with him to Michael’s wedding? Is he insane?” Dean asked, but then realization hit him hard.  
“Oh no… oh no! He can’t possibly… He’s doing this, because of the things I told him yesterday, isn’t he? He thinks I still like Michael or something and he wants me to have one last shot with him? And I told him not to try and ruin his brother’s wedding again.”

“Well, he didn’t exactly say that. He just said that he wanted for you to accompany him to his brother’s wedding, but I can’t think of a different reason why he would want you to go. I told you to be careful with the things you tell him. He said that he wanted to give you back the life you deserve and all you did was talk to him about how much you loved Michael and how much you wished you two were still together. What did you expect?” Bobby asked grumpily.

“Well, not this, obviously. Doesn’t he care at all about his own brother? Is he trying to create a scandal again? He’s lucky that Michael has forgiven him after all the shit he pulled.”

“Well, it seems like he feels that he wronged two people he cared about and made them suffer and now he wants to make amends. Give one last chance to you and Michael”, Bobby reasoned, although he didn’t get it either.

“But I don’t want Michael. Those were only shit I told him to get him off my case”, Dean retorted.

“Well, then, what are you waiting for? Go tell him that. Go tell him about all the lies you told him yesterday and clear things up, because it turns out he believed every single word”, Bobby said warningly with a raised eyebrow. Dean had really messed up and he didn’t like it at all.

“I’m not going to tell him that. I don’t want him to know I lied. And besides, I didn’t lie…”

“Yeah, yeah… I know. You had really loved Michael, but that doesn’t mean that you didn’t exaggerate about your feelings for him and about what he means to you”, Bobby finished and then a few moments of silence passed.  
“So, what are you going to do?” he asked.

“Is he in the kitchen?” Dean asked in return.

“Yeah, he is.”

“Then, I guess I’ll better go talk to him”, Dean said and went to find Cas.

…Α-Ω…

“Well… well, look what the cat dragged in!” were Dean’s first words when he entered the kitchen. Both Cas and Ellen were sitting at the kitchen island having a cup of coffee, when they turned to look at him.

“I’d better go find Bobby. You two need to talk alone”, Ellen said, as she got up and then gave a comforting pat on Dean’s shoulder on her way out.

“I thought you would be long gone by now, Cas; what the hell are you still doing here?” Dean asked, the moment Ellen left.

“I’m just trying to fix my mistakes”, Cas answered, playing nervously with the mug in his hands.

“How exactly? By making more mistakes? Bobby told me why you’re here. I’m not going with you. Michael deserves to have some happiness at last. I love him enough to want that for him. I’m not going to ruin his wedding again, like you did last time.”

“I don’t want you to ruin his wedding. I just want to give you some closure. You told me that you still have feelings for him. Perhaps if you see him get married to another person, you’ll let go and move on with your life; find someone new”, Cas said, looking at Dean warily.

“Oh! Silly me! So, your plan is to actually torture me? Sorry, I just assumed that after everything, you might have wanted to help me out”, Dean said and snorted.

“I do want to help you out. I just don’t think that Michael is the answer to that. As much as you have idolized him in your head, you were never happy with him. You two are completely different people and even if you got back together, sooner or later the problems would start again. Besides, Michael is perfectly happy with his new bride. I would never try and ruin that. Sarah is good for him and they both love each other”, Cas answered carefully.

Dean watched him for a moment. Cas sure had changed from the last time he saw him all those years ago. He seemed sure of himself and not as irresponsible and selfish as he once was. He really cared about Michael and he obviously had learned from his mistakes. That was always the Cas Dean liked; the kind and responsible one and not the reckless child.

“So, now what? What do you want from me? If your brother is so happy with that Sarah lady or whoever, what do you want with me?” Dean asked again.

“Come with me at the wedding. I’m sure that if you see Michael again, you will remember that you don’t actually want him. And I know for a fact that Michael will feel better, if he sees you. Gabriel told me that he’s been asking Jo about you. That he wanted to invite you to the wedding, but he was afraid that you would react badly. He needs to know that you’re okay. Only then, will he be able to have his closure with you and after the conversation we had yesterday, I know that you too need to have your own closure with him. So, don’t do it for me, but do it for him and for yourself”, Cas finished and waited nervously for Dean’s reply.

Dean looked at him once and then at the floor. He sighed deeply and looked at him again.  
“Fine, I’ll go with you”, he said.  
“I do want to let him know that I’m okay. I don’t want him to think that I’m miserable. And besides, what worse could happen? I’ve already seen you. Seeing the rest should be a piece of cake.”

“Thank you”, Cas hurried to say, although Dean’s words cut deeply into his heart.

“Don’t thank me just yet. I have some conditions that you will have to follow, if you want me to come with you”, Dean warned with a serious expression on his face.

“Of course, Dean. Whatever you want.”

“First of all, we’ll take my car and I’ll be the one driving it. Even if I did a hell of a job on yours, it still doesn’t compare to my baby. I’m not leaving her behind”, Dean said and raised his hand to prevent Cas from talking. After John died, his car, a black ’67 Chevrolet Impala, was passed to Dean. Sam hated that monstrosity, but he also knew how much that car meant to his brother, so it wasn’t hard for him to decide who should keep it. Dean would reluctantly let him drive it sometimes, but they both agreed that the car was Dean’s, even though Omegas weren’t really supposed to have such possessions. When Sam became an Alpha, however, Samuel made sure that his grandson had a car worthy of his status and he didn’t allow him to keep driving that piece of junk as he called it. In his opinion, that car suited Dean just fine. He was always his father’s son anyway.

“Second of all, you’ll promise to keep your hands to yourself. I don’t know and I don’t care whether you still have feelings for me or not. I don’t want to go back to this shit and this trip is about closures. I don’t want you to start talking about us, because fair warning, I will leave you at the side of the road, if you do. Capisce?”

“I capisce!”

“Great! Then I’ll pack my things and meet you outside in half an hour. Don’t make me regret this”, Dean finally told Cas and then, after grabbing a donut from the kitchen island, he left the room.

…Α-Ω…

…NINE HOURS LATER…

The car drive from the beginning could be described only by one word; AWKWARD. It had been freaking awkward from the minute they sat on the leather seats to the moment Dean started driving, to the almost fight they had over who picks the music, which had ended with Dean saying something he always used to say whenever he was with Sam in the car, ‘Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole’, and Cas pouting and at some point actually sleeping in order to defuse the tension. And after almost five hours of sleep, Cas was finally waking up.

“Oh, isn’t that a miracle? The sleeping beauty is finally up. I didn’t even have to give you the true love’s kiss to wake you”, Dean said teasingly, when he noticed Cas stirring next to him. For the entire trip that Cas had been awake, Dean had been on edge and he was refusing to pay any attention to him, but when Cas had finally fallen asleep, Dean had quickly realized how long this trip was actually going to be.

Cas looked sleepily outside the window, ignoring Dean’s comment.  
“Where are we?” he asked in a rougher than usual voice due to having just woken up and sat more properly at his seat.

“You just missed Chicago”, Dean said and took a sip of coffee from a plastic cup.

“Chicago? What the hell time is it? How long was I out?” Cas asked alarmed. It felt like he fell asleep a few minutes ago.

“A little after six. You were sleeping for five hours.”

“Oh my God. I’m sorry Dean. I guess I was more tired than I thought. I couldn’t really sleep last night. You’ve been driving for nine hours straight. Perhaps you should let me drive for a while and get some rest yourself”, Cas offered.

“No one drives my baby but me. And besides, I’m fine. I stopped at a gas station earlier and got coffee and some junk food. It’s in the back seat. I got some for you too. Your coffee is right here”, Dean said and pointed to a plastic cup next to his own.

“Thank you, Dean. You didn’t have to”, Cas replied, but he was touched by Dean’s act of kindness. Perhaps he didn’t hate him so much after all.  
“It looks like there’s a storm coming”, he said then, when he noticed the dark clouds looming over them.

“Yeah, and I have a feeling that it’s going to be a big one. I hope the sky gets clearer down the road, because we might have a problem; and I don’t see us getting to New York in time for the wedding”, Dean commented as a few drops of water hit the window. It wasn’t too long after those first few drops that it started pouring with rain.

Half an hour later and things were getting worse.  
“Shit! What’s with all the rain? I can’t see anything”, Dean complained, as a loud thunder shook the car.

“Do you want me to drive?” Cas asked, looking concerned. He could feel Dean’s uneasiness in the air and his Alpha instincts were telling him to protect his Omega. Even though Dean wasn’t his Omega anymore.

“Why? Can you see any better? No way am I letting you drive my baby in this weather.”

“I’m an Alpha and I have better reflexes”, Cas reasoned.

“Says who? I’m a better driver than you and you know it. I remember what a lousy driver you are.”

“Then I think we should better stop somewhere. It’s gotten really dark and it’s dangerous. I want to get to this wedding, but I’m not going to risk my life and yours for it”, Cas said, staring at Dean, while the Omega gripped the stirring wheel tighter.

“What do you suggest? Go back towards Chicago? We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“Just follow the first exit sign you see. There must be a town or something around here. Where are the other cars going? There must be people having trouble like us. This storm is insane”, Cas commented.

“Okay, I’ll try”, Dean agreed.

…Α-Ω…

…THREE HOURS LATER…

Cas could hear the sound of rain hitting on metal and he slowly woke up. He tried to open his eyes, but he felt a little dizzy and disoriented. Before opening his eyes, he tried to move, but he found himself constricted. There was a throbbing pain in his right arm and he had a terrible headache, but other than that he felt mostly okay. The thing that made him really wake up, however, was none of the above. It was the waves of a scent of Omega in distress that kept hitting him hard. His Alpha instincts were quite on edge the moment he caught that scent, but the longer he smelled it the more agitated he got. He soon remembered and realized to whom this scent belonged to.

“Dean?” he asked in a rough from disuse voice that was full of worry. There was no answer. He tried opening his eyes and after a while his vision finally focused. There was a tree, right in front of him. Why was he staring at a tree? Where were they? Then he noticed that he was still in Dean’s car and the tree wasn’t just in front of him; it had fallen on the car and some of its branches were now coming through the window of his side door. That’s why he felt so constricted earlier. A branch was keeping him pinned to his seat and had injured his right arm, which was now filled with blood. The window’s glass was all over him and rain was getting through the gap.

Carefully, he turned his head in search of Dean and what he saw was not what he expected at all. He thought that Dean would be badly injured and unconscious, if he couldn’t speak, but that was not the case. The waves of distress that hit him again were proof enough that Dean was awake.

The Omega was staring at him terrified, trembling at the edge of his seat, while hugging himself tightly.

“Dean?” Cas tried again, full of concern.  
“Dean, are you okay? Please talk to me. Are you injured? What’s wrong?”

“I… I…” Dean tried to say, but couldn’t. He started crying and Cas was hit by a renewed wave of distress and pain. He couldn’t understand if the pain was physical or emotional though, and that got him more worried. He tried to reach Dean, but he couldn’t move.

“Please, Dean, talk to me. Are you injured? I can’t move. This branch has me pinned down. Where are we? Is any help coming?”

Dean looked up at him again, as tears kept running freely from his eyes.  
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I don’t know where we are. I don’t know what happened. There was a thunder and then, the tree…” the Omega said in a trembling voice.

“Hey… hey, it’s okay! Don’t worry about it. Calm down, it’s okay. Please, tell me, can you move? Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m not hurt. I think I’m okay. I can move”, Dean answered, composing himself a little.

“That’s good, Dean. You can calm down. Just please, I need your help. I need you to unfasten my seatbelt and if you can’t, I need you to cut it. I can’t move. Cut it and then move the seat backwards, as far as it goes. This branch is pinning me down”, Cas told him and Dean finally started moving.

He found his pocket knife and cut the seatbelt, as Cas had suggested, since he couldn’t unfasten it and then he moved the seat backwards, but it didn’t go as far as he had hoped, since it was already way back. He was a tall guy. He was even taller than Cas and now he was thankful for that, because if the seat had been closer to the dashboard, the branch might have killed the Alpha.

“That’s as far as it goes”, Dean said in a voice still full of distress.

“It’s okay. You did well. Don’t worry. I just need another favor from you. Get ahold of the branch and try to pull it towards the front of the car and then, I’ll try and slide to your side, okay?” Cas told him calmly. Dean was way too anxious and he had to be as collected as he could for him.

“Okay, I’ll do it. Are you ready?” Dean asked Cas, as he grabbed the branch. It was a big one and it seemed to be very difficult to move.

“Yes, I am. Pull as hard as you can”, Cas told him and Dean did just that, giving Castiel the chance to slide towards the driver’s side, right next to Dean. With his hands, even though his right arm was injured, he grabbed the branch himself, holding it in place and then spoke again.

“You can let go, Dean; I have it. Open your door instead, so we can get out and try and find some help, okay?”

“Yes, okay”, Dean answered and carefully let go of the branch and opened his door, only to realize that they were truly in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of a storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! ;-)


	4. Like It Used To Be

After they both got out of the car, they tried to look around and find some help, but there was no one and the bad thing was that they had no idea where they were and what direction they should follow in order to get back to the civilization.

The storm was still terrible and they were now both wet down to the core and trembling from the cold, so Cas decided that their best option for now was to get back in the car.

“Dean, we can’t stay out here. It’s not safe and we might catch a pneumonia or something. We need to get back inside the car. If what you told me earlier is right and a thunder caused the tree to fall on the car, it might happen again and we are exposed out here. Someone might see the car and help us. We don’t have a choice”, Cas shouted in order for Dean to hear him over all the noise caused by the storm.

“The car? Where exactly? The tree went through the car, it didn’t just fall on it. The front is completely ruined and the back isn’t doing much better”, Dean reasoned, looking around afraid.

“You’re right. The car won’t work and we’re too exposed out here. We need to find a place to stay until the storm stops”, Cas agreed and as he finished and started looking around again, a lightning illuminated the sky and the Alpha noticed something that looked like a house in the distance.  
“There. Did you see that? There’s a building in that direction. We need to go there now.”

Dean looked around to see what Cas was talking about, as another lightning illuminated the sky and Dean saw it clearly.

“It looks like a warehouse or something.”

“Yes, I think you’re right. Come on, let’s go. We might find someone there to help us”, Cas said and they both started running towards the building.

As they got closer, to their disappointment, they realized that the building, which was in fact a warehouse, or at least used to be, was abandoned and there were no other buildings around the area. There was a double door at the front, but other than that there were no windows from what they could see. A padlock was holding the doors closed, but it looked old and rusty and so it didn’t take much for Cas to break it by falling with force on the doors, which flew open.

As they stepped inside, Dean helped him secure the doors by placing random stuff that they found in front of them and then they moved to sit on some wooden boxes, which were further inside. The moment they relaxed they both started shivering even more so than before. Cas could see that Dean was turning blue to the face and he was sure that he looked the same.  
“We need to get these wet clothes off of us or we’re going to get sick” he advised and then tried to warm up using his breath on his hands.

“How is your arm?” Dean asked him then out of the blue.

“It’s fine. It was just a scratch”, Cas replied and then started unbuttoning his shirt.

“A scratch? Your sleeve was soaked in blood. What are you talking about? It was more than a scratch”, Dean argued and looked concerned.

“No, it’s alright. See for yourself”, Cas offered, as he took off his shirt and extended his arm towards Dean, who grabbed it to inspect it.  
“See? It wasn’t that deep. It just broke the skin and it bled”, Cas said reassuringly. He didn’t want Dean to worry any more than he had to.  
“Dean you need to get out of those clothes. I have clothes in my suitcase that we can both wear. Perhaps I should go get it…” he offered and then made a move to stand up and go back outside.

“No stay… I don’t want you to go back out there. It’s too dangerous. I’m fine. I don’t need to change my clothes. Unless of course you need a new shirt so badly. Then, I’ll go get your suitcase for you”, Dean said after he stopped Cas.

“No, I’m okay. I’m already getting warmer”, Cas lied and Dean nodded in response. After that they both fell in silence.

…Α-Ω…

An hour later and none of them could deny anymore how cold they felt. They were both trembling and the wet clothes they still had on their bodies weren’t helping the situation. However, neither of them said anything about it. They both knew that they were freezing, but they were too stubborn to admit it; and then biology took the matter into its own hands.

They did not realize when it happened, but their proximity and the bad situation that they were in activated their bond somehow in order to help them stay alive and to warm them up. Soon Dean started feeling weird, as if he was going into heat and in the cold he felt his temperature rising up. Cas didn’t remain unaffected either. He felt something weird in his gut and then he started feeling all hot and bothered as well. He didn’t want to make his condition known to Dean, but when he smelled the Omega’s slick in the air, he knew what was happening. He had never heard of anything similar before. He always believed it to be a myth. But this had to be it. There was no other explanation for what was happening to him.

When he was a child he had heard a story about true mates. True mates could only be Alphas and Omegas and the story went that in the old days, it wasn’t just the Omegas that were going into heat, but also the Alphas were going into ruts. And that was the case only for those Alphas who had found their true mates. It was a way to help them conceive the perfect child. This myth was where the belief about the superiority of Alpha/Omega children had its origin. For as long as he lived as an Alpha, he had never experienced a rut and he didn’t know any other Alphas who had either. But then again, he didn’t know anyone who had met their true mate. This was one more proof that Dean was his. He hadn’t made a mistake about who Dean really was to him. Dean was his true mate and there was no doubt about that.

“Dean, are you okay?” he asked, as he started breathing hard. His thoughts were starting to get unclear and the feeling that he had to protect and mate his Omega was getting stronger.

“I… I don’t know. I feel kind of weird. I think I might be sick. I don’t know what’s happening, but I think I’m going into heat. I shouldn’t for another two weeks or so”, Dean replied, while panting.

“It’s your body. It’s trying to keep you warm and because I’m here and we’re mated, it’s going into heat. Dean… I… I feel weird as well. I think that I might be experiencing my first rut.”

“What? I’ve never heard of an Alpha going into a rut. That’s a myth”, Dean argued, while staring at Cas with wide eyes.

“And yet I think it’s happening to me or I’m dying. I don’t know how else to explain this feeling… I’m getting kind of dizzy. I think I’m going to explode”, Cas said and then lied down on the cold floor, breathing hard.

Dean looked at him with a scared expression on his face.  
“Hey… hey, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Don’t panic”, the Omega assured him, as he sat down next to him on the floor and stroked his raven hair, getting them away from his forehead.

“Dean?” Cas looked at him with a pained expression on his face. Dean couldn’t help but stare at those sad blue eyes that were staring back at him.

“Shhhh… It’s okay, Cas…” was the only thing the Omega said, as he lied down right next to Cas and took the Alpha’s hand in his own. They kept staring at each other, while they were both breathing hard, until finally they couldn’t take it anymore and they both leaned in for a kiss.

Thunders kept rattling the building and the lightning was the only thing offering some light in the rather dark warehouse, but none of that mattered to the two of them. They kept kissing each other as if their life depended on it and maybe it did. Cas’ arms soon enveloped Dean in a hug, bringing him close to his body and Dean went willingly. The hard dirty floor did nothing to spoil their moment. It was as if they were in their own little bubble, not realizing where they were or what was happening around them.

Slowly but surely they undressed each other, as they kept kissing passionately. Dean’s slick was running down his thighs, while Cas was already dripping with pre-cum. Bringing the Omega on top of him, Cas put his hand between Dean’s legs and started massaging the Omega’s wet hole, causing him to shudder from the pleasure. The foreplay, however, couldn’t go on forever and soon Cas felt as if he couldn’t take it anymore, feeling his hardness throb between his legs. It was already too painful and he knew that he would have to get inside Dean soon, but he didn’t want to do anything that would hurt Dean. He needed to hear that Dean was giving him his permission to do it, even if the Omega looked like he was already on board. He wanted to respect him.

“Dean…” he muttered.  
“You’re so beautiful… I… I’m so…”

“Shhh… stop talking, Cas… I know. You can… I want you to. It’s okay… I need you to be inside me”, Dean said and dived in for another kiss.

The fever in Cas’ brain that kept telling him to mate and breed Dean did nothing to make him go in rough or too fast. Instead he kept kissing Dean sweetly and caressing him like he was the most precious and fragile thing in the world and when he entered him, he did it slowly, letting Dean adjust to him and then he kept his thrusts slow and shallow.

When he bottomed out for the first time, while being underneath Dean, he paused to stare inside the Omega’s eyes, who smiled at him in return and then kissed him. Changing their positions again, he carefully lied Dean down on the floor and he deepened his thrusts, which he kept slow, dragging his length deliciously almost all the way out and then again all the way in, making Dean moan in pleasure.

Their lovemaking lasted long. It was as if they were making up for lost time and when Cas finally came inside Dean, the same time as a thunder shook the building to its foundations, for a second it felt as if everything was right in the world again. Dean fell exhausted on Cas, who had changed their positions again, bringing Dean on top of him, to make the Omega more comfortable. The Alpha kept caressing Dean’s back, while his knot kept him locked inside his love, feeling as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

They didn’t talk again after that. They fell in silence and then asleep in each other’s arms, feeling sated and warm, while listening to the wind, the rain and the thunders.

…Α-Ω…

When Cas woke up the next morning, he was alone lying on the floor with only his shirt draped over his naked lap. The storm had died down and he could see some sun rays getting through some holes and openings around the doors and the wall. Carefully he stood up, found and put on his underwear, his pants and his shoes and made his way outside. Suddenly he was blinded by the light and he placed his arm over his eyes. Once his eyes adjusted, he put on his shirt, careful not to touch the scratch on his arm, which still hurt and he started looking around for Dean, but he was nowhere to be found. So, he did the only thing that he could think of; he headed back to where he remembered the Impala was.

Sure enough, there was Dean talking to a police officer, while other people were trying to extract the tree from the car. There was a tow truck near the Impala, an ambulance and two police cars. He moved closer, causing Dean to finally notice him, but other than that he was paid no attention.

“So, where are you guys taking my car?” Cas heard Dean asking the police officer, as he started walking towards them.

“The tow truck will take your car to this garage, which is just outside the town”, the man explained as he showed a card to Dean, which Cas assumed was one of the garage’s business cards and then he took out a map to show the Omega where it was exactly.

“We need to take you and your… friend to the police station to take your testimony and write our report, but then one of our police cars could take you there. I think it would be better, though, to go to the hospital and get checked first. You must have had quite a night.”

No, it’s okay, I’m fine. The paramedics checked up on me. I want to get this over with”, Dean said and the policeman nodded, before he turned around, finally noticing Cas.

“You must be the other guy… Castiel Novak?” the man asked, after he checked his papers.  
“As I was just telling your mate…” he started to say.

“Yeah… I heard”, Cas interrupted him.

“Mr. Novak, why is it that you left your Omega drive the car? You know very well that Omegas aren’t supposed to be driving cars…”

“I’m not his Omega, we’re not mated”, Dean argued, glaring at the man.

“That’s not what I smell…” the man muttered.

“Excuse me, officer, what seems to be the problem? Last time I checked it wasn’t against the law for an Omega to drive a car and besides this is his car, who else was there supposed to be driving it?” Cas asked irritated.

“I know it’s not against the law, Mr. Novak, but perhaps we could have avoided this, if an Alpha like yourself was driving the car.”

“So, you’re saying that it was Dean’s fault that a thunder caused the tree to fall on the road? And how exactly was he supposed to escape from it? I can assure you that Dean is a much better driver than I am and I honestly don’t understand what the status of our relationship has to do with any of this.”

“Fine, fine… Don’t get upset, sir. You’d better let the guys look at your arm and any other injuries you might have, before we head to the station”, the police officer said, pointing at the paramedics, when he noticed the blood on Castiel’s torn up sleeve. Then he left the two of them alone.

“Are you okay? Did he insult you or anything, before I came here?” Cas asked, when he turned to look at Dean.

“I can take care of myself, Cas. Don’t think that because we had sex last night, we’re suddenly a couple again or anything. I don’t need you to defend my honor. Just back off…” Dean said and walked away.

“I wasn’t implying that we were…” Cas muttered to himself.

…Α-Ω…

Once they were done with the station, they were offered a ride to the garage, where they found out that the car was a mess and that it would take days for it to get fixed, so they decided that the best way to go was to get a ride back to Chicago, which was still the nearest big city to where they were, since they had gotten lost the previous night in the storm and take a flight to New York, if they wanted to be there in time for the wedding.

For the entire ride to Chicago and then for the entire flight to New York Dean and Cas didn’t exchange more than two words now and then, but when the taxi was getting close to Michael’s apartment, where they were supposed to go before the wedding, Dean suddenly got anxious. The last time he was here, it was for their last appointment with their therapist, when he and Michael were trying to break their bond and those were not fun memories. That wasn’t ‘the’ last memory he had of Michael, since he had seen him again when they were signing their divorce papers and another time before that at the company, but it was one of the last. Michael had looked terrible that day and that memory made Dean feel nervous.

“We’re here”, he heard Cas saying next to him, when the cab came to a stop, pulling him out of his thoughts.  
“Are you okay? If you’re not ready yet…”

“No, I’m cool. Let’s go”, Dean said and then got out of the car.

The elevator ride was the longest in Dean’s life, but once they got to their floor, he felt like it wasn’t long enough. He wanted to bolt so badly. Why had he agreed to come here? Why did he feel like he had to prove a point to Cas and had actually agreed to do this? What was he supposed to tell Michael when he saw him? All these questions were running through his head, when suddenly Hannah opened the apartment’s door and stared wide eyed at Dean.

“Hello, Hannah. May we please come inside?” Cas interrupted her freak out, saving Dean the trouble of talking to her or explaining his presence there.

“Yes, of course, I’m sorry”, she said and stepped aside, letting them inside.

The apartment was filled with Michael’s friends and family and there were people having conversations everywhere from the living room to the kitchen and to the dining area. Some of them were people Dean recognized from his and Michael’s wedding or from the company and others he had never seen before in his life. The one that was nowhere to be seen was Michael himself.

When they stepped further inside the house, conversations stopped for a moment with everyone now focused on the newcomers, but then the silence was broken by Gabriel, who looked shocked for a second upon seeing Dean, but then called them over. It seemed like Cas hadn’t informed anyone about bringing Dean to the wedding, but Gabriel tried to hide that fact and welcomed him.

Jo, who was right next to him, looking gorgeous in her long deep blue gown, offered Dean a tight smile, making her discomfort known, but said nothing. Dean had thought that Ellen would have called her to tell her that he was coming to the wedding, but it looked like she hadn’t.

None of those reactions mattered, however, because it was when he saw Michael freezing in place that he realized that perhaps this was a bad idea. He was so going to kill Cas.


	5. We Meet Again

Michael couldn’t help but stare at Dean. He felt his heart start beating faster, but then soon calmed himself. He couldn’t freak out in front of all his guests, who were now staring at him, because apparently he was still glued to his spot, staring at Dean.

“Dean, Cas… I’m glad you guys made it”, he said as if he already knew they were coming. Well, he was expecting Cas, but Dean? Not so much.  
“Please, have a drink. Was your trip long?” he asked, as he waved at someone from the staff to bring them glasses of champagne, taking one for himself as well. Cas and Dean might have been already dressed for the wedding, making a stop first at Castiel’s new apartment for a desperately needed shower and to get changed, but Dean felt as if he was still in his rain drenched and dirty clothes from last night, because everyone kept looking at him and whispering.

“We had some trouble getting here with the storm, but all is good”, Cas answered for both of them. Dean just tried to smile at Michael, but it came out really forced. Michael emptied his glass in one go, while looking at him and then spoke again.

“Would you mind following me in the office? I need to talk to you for a moment”, he said to them both and then left for his office, without waiting to see, if they were following him.

…Α-Ω…

The Alpha was pacing the room nervously as he waited for Cas and Dean to come. When the door of his office finally opened, he was graced with the presence of not only Dean and Cas, but also Gabriel and Jo.

Dean stepped inside hesitantly, looking pleadingly at the others to say something, when Gabriel made sure that the door was securely closed behind them and Michael finally spoke.

“Are you guys trying to give me a heart attack?” Michael asked, as he loosened the tie around his neck.

“Michael, calm down. The guests are going to hear you”, Gabriel begged him.

“Calm down? What is this? Why is Dean here? Did you guys know about this?” Michael demanded to know as he pointed accusing fingers to Jo and Gabe.

“They have nothing to do with this”, Cas finally spoke.  
“I’m the one who brought Dean here and I didn’t tell anyone.”

Michael stared at his younger brother.  
“Why? Are you guys back together?” he asked, as he turned his stare to Dean.

“No, we’re not”, Cas answered, while Dean looked down at the floor.  
“This was simply something that needed to be done, so that everyone can move on.”

“I don’t understand what kind of game you’re playing with me right now, Cas. If you haven’t noticed yet, today is my wedding. I have moved on…” Michael said and then went behind his desk and fell on his chair, while he desperately started looking for some alcohol. Once he found his whiskey, he poured himself a generous amount and then drank it again in one go.

“Maybe you have, but Dean deserves to have his closure as well”, Cas said, causing Michael to stare at him.

“Can you guys please leave me and Michael alone? I need to talk to him without you here”, Dean suddenly said and all three of them turned to look at him, as if they knew that this was going to end badly.

“Dean, perhaps…” Gabriel started to say.

“No, it’s okay. Please, you can go. I want to talk to him alone”, Michael interrupted him.

“Michael, we should be leaving for church in half an hour. Perhaps you should do that after…” Gabriel argued.

“No, it’s okay. I want to talk to him now. I’ll be ready to go, when it’s time. Please, Gabriel, just leave us. I’m okay, I promise.”

“Fine, let’s go, guys”, Gabriel sighed and ushered all of them outside, leaving Michael and Dean alone.

“I’m sorry that I showed up here unannounced. Especially today. I just wanted to talk to you, because I want this ghost feeling that is left between us to go away”, Dean finally said, when the others were gone.

Michael looked at him for a moment without saying anything and then got up from his chair and walked towards him, finally stopping right in front of him.

“This ghost feeling, meaning?” the Alpha asked.

“Ever since we broke up, I’ve been feeling guilty for everything that went down between us and I know that I was the one to blame for everything. I just wanted to let you know that I’m really sorry for causing you pain and I hope that this time around you’re happy.”

“You’re sorry and you want me to be happy… Well, okay, you’re forgiven and as for the happy part, I’m getting there… No, I’m not getting there, I’m already happy”, Michael said and turned his face away to look outside the window, leaving Dean staring at his back.

“Are you really? Happy I mean… Is this girl Sarah really the one that makes you happy? The one you love?”

Michael sighed and then turned to look at him again.  
“I do love Sarah and she does make me happy. But every love is different. So, if you’re asking me if she is the love of my life, then no… She is not. I’m a man who believes that everyone is entitled to have one person to call the love of their life. You can’t use that to call every lover you have, because then it loses its value. There are some people you simply can’t help but love deeper than others. I’ve already met the love of my life and it is not Sarah. I was lucky enough to meet them. Other people don’t get that lucky. But I was not the love of their life and so I lost that person. I learned to live without them and then I fell out of love with them. It took time and effort, but I got back on my two own feet. And then I met Sarah and I fell in love again.” Michael replied and then looked away.  
“Today, when I finally get married to Sarah, I know I’m going to be happy and I know that this marriage is actually going to work. But I also know that today won’t reach the levels of happiness I felt when we two got married or when we first made love. When we really made love, after I had fallen in love with you. I’m sure you don’t know which time that was, because you never had the same feelings for me, but it’s okay. I understand.”

“Michael…” Dean said and he had tears in his eyes. Michael turned to look at him and got close to him again.

“Don’t cry, Dean… I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I promise you that I’m fine. I am happy and I am in love”, the Alpha said, as he held tenderly Dean’s face between his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs.  
“This ghost that you’re referring to that is still between us… it isn’t a bad thing and it’s never going to go away. This ghost is all the beautiful memories we have of each other. It is the love I felt for you and I don’t want to forget that. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Even though I might not love you like that anymore, I don’t want to forget it. But I do still love you and I want to see you happy. And although it is hard for me to admit it, I know that the only person who can really make you happy is Cas. I know that for you it’s always been Cas. I don’t want to see him hurt anymore. Every time I look at him, it feels like there’s a piece missing from him. You are that piece. You are the thing that’s missing and that can make him whole. And I am glad that you’re here with him. I’m glad that he has found you again. I can smell him all over you, so that has to mean something”, Michael told him and smiled at him, getting ahold of his hands this time.

“I want you to know that our marriage wasn’t fake for me either. I loved you. I did… and I wanted us to work, but…” Dean tried to say, as tears kept running down his face.

“I wasn’t the love of your life… I know. And I also know that Cas isn’t just the love of your life, Dean. He is the person you are supposed to be with. He is your true mate. Your soulmate. So, please… whatever he’s done to you and I know that it’s a lot, because my brother is an idiot and he is self-destructive, forgive him. You two belong together. Just give him another chance and you won’t regret it. He has changed. He has grown up and now he needs you more than ever.”

“I know that he’s changed. Even though I haven’t spent a lot of time with him, I’ve seen the change in his character. I love him, but it is hard for me to just forget about everything and make a fresh start with him. He has to show me that he really means it this time, because I can’t take any more pain. I know I hurt you, Michael, but I’m still in so much pain… Every day that I spend by myself hurts. Every day I spent without him these past five years hurt like a bitch”, Dean cried and Michael hugged him tightly against his body.

“I know the feeling, but it gets better and you actually have the chance to have the love of your life back. Let him make you happy, Dean”, Michael said and kissed his hair and then his forehead tenderly.

“You are the kindest person I’ve ever met”, Dean told him as he stepped back to look at him.

“I know… Sarah is a really lucky girl to have me”, Michael joked and smiled at him.  
“And can you keep a secret? I know that I made it sound like I’ve already lived my happiest moments, but there’s one I didn’t get to experience with you and I think is going to top all the others.”

“What is that?” Dean asked confused.

“Sarah is pregnant. I’m going to be a dad in about seven months”, Michael replied and his face actually lit up.

“Oh my god! Congratulations… this is… this is awesome!”

“Hey, but don’t tell the others. No one knows yet.”

“I won’t… Thank you for understanding and for being so nice to me. I don’t know what came over me and I agreed to come here. When I saw you earlier, I thought that coming here was a huge mistake. I didn’t want to ruin your wedding or anything. I’m glad you’re happy”, Dean said and smiled at the Alpha.

“Thank you, Dean. I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to know how you were doing for a long time now. I was thinking of maybe inviting you to the wedding to be honest, but I didn’t know how you would take it, so I decided against it. I didn’t know whether you wanted to see any of us again. I wanted to come find you for Cas. He didn’t know where you lived, but I did. Jo told me. He’s been miserable without you. Leaving you was the worst mistake he’s ever made in his life. He regrets it every single day.”

“I don’t want him to hurt anymore, but I don’t know if I’m ready to start a relationship with him again.”

“Did you guys sleep together?” Michael asked him then out of the blue.

Dean got red in the face as he answered.  
“Yeah, we did…”

“Then that’s the first step. I’m not telling you to rush it, Dean. Do it with your own pace and on your own conditions. I just think that you guys are worth trying this again”, Michael said and paused.  
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get going, because I’m getting married to a beautiful woman who happens to be carrying my child and I don’t want to be late”, the Alpha told him, as he fixed his tie again.

“Of course…” Dean replied and smiled at him.

“I’ll see you later at the party, okay?”

“Yeah, see you then”, Dean said and Michael, giving him one last smile, left him alone in the room.

…Α-Ω…

When Dean finally left the office, Cas was right outside waiting for him.  
“Are you okay? Is everything between you and Michael alright?” the Alpha asked concerned, while tilting his head a little to his right side. Dean stared at his blue eyes and smiled at him.

“Actually, it’s more than alright”, he said and then leaned forward and captured the other man’s lips in a sweet kiss, taking the Alpha by surprise.

“Dean?” Cas asked confused, as a bit of red colored his cheeks.

“Everyone is leaving. I think that we should get going”, Dean told him, ignoring the obvious question that was hanging between the two of them and with one last smile, he walked towards the exit, following the others. Cas was left staring at his back, before he forced himself out of his trance and did the same.

…Α-Ω…

Michael’s wedding was beautiful and thankfully nothing happened to ruin it this time. The bride and the groom looked like they were in heaven. They couldn’t stop smiling and they were always looking affectionately at each other. If Dean wasn’t completely convinced before that Michael was happy and well, despite everything that he had told him earlier in his office, he became convinced when he saw them together. Michael wasn’t lying when he said he was in love with her. His feelings for her were obvious to everyone who attended the wedding and so were hers. But Dean knew that there was also one more reason for their happiness and apparently he was the only one who did. He was happy for Michael and he felt like there was a weight lifted off his shoulders. Michael had always wanted to be a father and now he finally would be. Dean hadn’t ruined the Alpha’s chance at happiness after all.

The night, however, wasn’t great just for the newlyweds. The big surprise of the night was Dean himself. Seeing Michael and Sarah together made him realize that he was tired of always holding back and for the first time in five years he let himself have a great time and he ended up even dancing with Cas, who had this adorable confused expression on his face all night long. The Alpha couldn’t understand what could have possibly changed the Omega’s mind, but he liked it nonetheless. It had been too long since he and Dean were like that. He loved seeing Dean smiling and having a good time. This Dean reminded him of the old Dean, the one he had fallen in love with five years ago and as he stepped into the living room of his apartment and saw that relaxed expression still on the Omega’s face, all the memories of their past life together came rushing back, putting a smile on his face.

“Hey, are you okay? Are you sure the couch is comfortable? If not, I can sleep here and you can take my bed”, the Alpha offered as he approached Dean, who was lying on the couch.

“I’m good, Cas. Don’t worry about it. The couch is fine”, the Omega answered and smiled up at him.

“I was glad to see you have fun tonight. I was afraid that it was going to be weird for you… I guess your talk with Michael went well. By the way, you never told me what you guys talked about”, Cas said, as he sat at the other end of the couch.

“Nothing much. Just things that we needed to tell each other. Thanks for bringing me here. I hadn’t realized how much I needed this. I didn’t like the way things were left between Michael and me. I’m glad I got to see him getting married. Sarah is great and I’m sure they’ll be happy together”, the Omega answered truthfully.

“I’m glad to hear it, Dean.”

“Hey, can I ask you a question? Since you offered to help me with anything I needed?”

“Ah… sure, Dean. What’s on your mind? What do you need?” Cas replied confused.

“Well, I was thinking… you know, with things going so well with Michael. I was thinking that perhaps it is time for me to man up and go see my brother. There are some things that I need to tell him and I want to have him face to face, when I do that”, Dean said, as he kept staring at the Alpha’s adorably confused expression. He didn’t want to openly say it and he was hoping that Cas would understand what he wanted.

“Okay? I think that’s a great idea. You should definitely do that. But I don’t understand what that has to do with me. What do you want me to help you with? Do you perhaps need money to buy a plane ticket or something?”

“No, Cas, I don’t need money; I need you… I mean, I want you to come with me… you know, for moral support. I was wondering if you would like to come with me on another road trip… this time to California. I promise no accidents this time. When my car is fixed, I want to head to California to see Sam. Will you come with me?” Dean asked with a hopeful expression on his face, one that Cas could never say no to.

“Of course, I will. I thought you’d never ask”, he answered and smiled at the Omega, who smiled at him in return.

“Great. Then, it’s a date.”

“It’s a date.”


	6. Feels Oddly Familiar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, everyone!  
> I have something important to say about the story for those who have read this before. I've made some CHANGES in the previous chapters, when it comes to the reason Cas left Dean five years ago and in this chapter we finally learn the one and only reason behind his actions. Dean and Cas finally open up about that night and resolve their issues.  
> Please, enjoy! XOXO

It didn’t take long for the car to get fixed and Cas kept his promise to follow Dean to his quest to find and talk to Sam. It had been days of driving and sleeping in the car and although the space of the Impala was small, it didn’t help to get them closer. Except for the occasional rock bursting through the speakers, both the alpha and the omega were mostly quiet and didn’t share much, until the final night of the trip, when they reached California and booked a motel room.

As he entered the room, Dean dropped his bag on the bed near the door and headed for the bathroom. When he came out, Castiel was already sitting on the bed next to his and was looking at something on his phone.  
“There should be a diner nearby. I think I saw one up on the road, before we pulled up here”, he said, getting up from the bed.  
“I’ll go ask the front desk and then go get us some food. I won’t be long”, he added, sparing a glance to Dean, who was currently pulling some clothes out of his duffel bag.  
“Would you like anything to drink? A beer maybe?” he asked then, his hand on the doorknob.

“No, I’m good, thanks. I don’t really feel like it. Water is fine”, Dean replied, not taking his eyes off his bag. After the night of Michael’s wedding, Dean didn’t try to take back the kiss or act like nothing had happened between them, but he tried to tone it down a bit. Michael was right and he himself could see the change in Cas and he really wanted to see if he and Cas could give this another try, but he still needed time and he certainly didn’t want a repeat of that night in the abandoned building. It was too soon. So, he remained polite and avoided touching him too much. Cas’ familiar and comforting scent that lingered all the time everywhere around him was already too much.

“Okay, I’ll be back soon”, Castiel said finally, smiling softly and left the room. He didn’t have to ask what Dean liked to have for dinner. He was all too familiar with the Omega’s preferences when it came to food. Even if he hadn’t spent the last few days with him, he still remembered all those nights lying on the sofa, snuggled with each other, eating homemade burgers and pie, sometimes something a little healthier, but always enjoying the scent and the warmth of each other in front of the TV. A life out of a dream, which he had so carelessly thrown away that dreadful night and he desperately wanted back. Now that he had found Dean once more, he couldn’t picture leaving his side ever again. If he was to lose him for a second time, it would definitely kill him. So, he was determined to wait for as long as it took for Dean to trust him again. And this time he wasn’t going to disappoint him.

When Cas returned, Dean was already dressed in more comfortable clothing and was watching the news from his bed.  
“I got us some burgers. They’re supposed to be quite famous around here. I hope you like them”, the alpha said, dropping the bag on the table and paused.  
“Should we…?” he asked, motioning the two chairs with his hand.

“Yeah, I’m coming”, Dean answered, turning off the TV and joining Cas at the table, where the alpha was setting their food after taking it out of the bag.

“Mmm… this is delicious”, Dean moaned after a moment, around a bite of his burger.

“I’m glad you like it”, Cas answered, smiling from his seat across from Dean and then took a bite of his own food.

A few more moments of them just eating passed, before the alpha finally broke the silence.  
“So, are you ready for tomorrow?” he asked hesitantly, watching Dean carefully.

“I don’t know. I guess… I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. It’s been too long, you know? I’m not sure I know what I should tell him yet”, Dean answered truthfully and looked skeptical. For Cas it was a win that the omega even wanted to talk to him about this.

“Well, you could start with the fact that you miss him”, the alpha suggested, dipping a French fry in the ketchup inside the container with his food and then locked eyes with the Omega.

Dean just stared at him for a while, without speaking, before he lowered his eyes back on his food.  
“Do you think that he misses me too?” he asked innocently. Cas just wanted to wrap him in his arms and chase away that sadness that was so audible in his voice.

“I’m sure he does, Dean. You and he have been through too much together. He would never just walk away like that and not feel remorse or miss you. You’re too important to him, as he is to you. He would be crazy not to be missing you.”

Dean gave a short snort at the sound of Cas’ words.  
“I don’t know about that. People haven’t exactly had a problem walking out of my life just like that before.”

“You’re talking about me”, Cas said sadly. It most definitely wasn’t a question. Dean didn’t reply, but simply took a bite out of his burger and kept his eyes on the table.

“I know that you said you didn’t want to talk about this before, but I think that we need to now. You didn’t want me with you on this trip for nothing; isn’t that right, Dean?” Cas asked, sounding hopeful.

Dean raised his eyes and looked at Cas’ blue ones.  
“You know I didn’t. You don’t need to ask me that.”

“Then can we please talk about the elephant in the room?”

“Yeah… okay”, Dean replied and lowered his gaze again.

“I know this might sound like an excuse, but I need to make sure you understand the state I was in, Dean. I was losing my mind… that nightmare… those memories that started erupting inside my brain; I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the events of that night, when I met my real father. I think and I’m not exaggerating here, that I might be scarred for life and the nightmares and the guilt will always linger at the back of my mind. But that night was even worse. It was different…”

“Cas…” Dean started to say, but the alpha raised his hand, interrupting him.

“Please, just let me finish. I need to tell you. You need to understand why I did everything I did. Why I left. And trust me, the real reason is far from what you have been thinking. So, please, just let me tell you”, Cas pleaded in a soft voice and Dean closed his mouth, looking at the table once more.  
“I couldn’t; I couldn’t face you, Dean… I couldn’t. I know that when I left you it seemed as if I woke up, packed all my stuff away and disappeared, but it’s not like that. When I woke up, you were lying there so peaceful, not just beside me, but almost on top of me. I could feel your heartbeat on my chest, feel your warm breath on my neck. Your arms holding onto me so trustingly and lovingly, wearing my ring on your finger with such pride. For a second there I felt as if all was just a bad dream; I didn’t realize the reality behind my nightmare. For just a second I didn’t know those were memories; even though my heart was still racing from the dream and I still felt panicked, your presence grounded me and worked as a healing potion to my troubled mind.”

Dean was listening carefully to all of Castiel’s words, while his heart was racing inside his chest. His hands had become numb and cold sweat started gathering at the back of his neck.

“But then, suddenly it clicked. I realized what the dream really was. I really remembered and without warning I felt sick. Your arms were all of the sudden chains around my body. I felt trapped and I was suffocating. I looked at you and I felt sick, because I felt as if I was the last person you should be feeling so safe around. I was the last person you should be giving your love to so unconditionally”, the alpha said and paused. Dean looked as if he was about to start crying now.  
“I thought I was going to throw up. Suddenly, your sweet smell, this lovely scent of home and mate and even soulmate became toxic. I started panicking. I couldn’t breathe and my throat started closing up. I was going to pass out and I tried to get away from underneath you, to breathe; with all my strength I tried to stand and go to the bathroom. I almost fell a few times, before I finally reached the toilet and threw up. That toxic scent was still lingering all around me and I… I couldn’t take it and lost my consciousness for a while. When I woke up again, your scent was the first thing I noticed. It was still making me gag. I tried to stop breathing. I saw my aftershave by the mirror and grabbed it and soaked the hand towel with it and then brought it quickly to my nose.”

“Your body rejected the bond. What we were trying to prevent from happening to Michael, when we were trying to break our bond, happened to you over a night, over a moment”, Dean said shocked, staring at Cas with wide eyes. He wasn’t asking. He knew. During those sessions with Michael, Missouri had informed them of what a violent and sudden bond breaking could cause. She had told them of cases where after some incident the body itself would reject the bond, in an attempt to protect the Alpha or the Omega from further damage. 

Cas suddenly burst into tears.  
“I didn’t want you to know…” he said, as his voice was breaking.  
“I didn’t want to have to tell you this. It’s one more thing I am embarrassed about. I’m sorry, Dean, but it wasn’t just the guilt that kept me away from you. I physically couldn’t be with you back then”, he cried.  
A few moments of silence and sniffling passed before he composed himself and could speak again. Dean just kept staring blankly at him.  
“That night, I called my friend Balthazar to come help me. He immediately knew what was wrong with me when he saw me. I told him I remembered everything and he understood and told me what my body’s reaction was, because he’s a doctor. He helped me get my stuff. He’s the one, who did the packing actually, all the while you were still sleeping. I spent the rest of my moments in the apartment, breathing through the towel that I had clutched over my nose, sitting at the kitchen table, thinking what I should write in that awful letter that I never should have written in the first place. Even if it wasn’t for my biting mark on your neck, our bond as true mates was still too strong on its own and it destroyed me completely when my body rejected it”, Cas finished, not daring to even look at Dean.

“I don’t know what to say… I’m…” Dean tried to put his thoughts into words but couldn’t. He was numb all over. All the hurt and the pain... He was finally getting an explanation for everything he’s been through for the past five years. He knew Cas couldn’t have just abandoned him. He loved him too much to just decide that his guilt was more important than his love for the Omega.

“I was hospitalized right after that. Balthazar took me. I begged him not to tell anyone about this. I was throwing up for days and I was delirious most of the time. When I started getting better, I thought that maybe it had passed, that I was cured and started thinking more clearly. Immediately I realized what an awful mistake I had made by telling you all those things in the letter. I wanted to find you, explain and beg you to accept me back and so, Balthazar drove me back to our apartment, to keep an eye on me, but it was empty. Your smell was still lingering in it, though, and the moment I smelled it, the nausea returned. Balthazar convinced me that I wasn’t ready yet. My body was still rejecting you and he was right. He called someone he knew and arranged for me to be put in an institution that treats such cases. I spent months there, until Balthazar told me about your father’s death. No one in my family knew where I was. I wanted to keep my condition a secret, but those news shocked me. I decided to contact them again, tell them where I’ve been and ask about you. I wanted to see you. Come to you and comfort you, even though, Balthazar and my new doctor both agreed that I wasn’t ready. I thought it was a risk worthwhile and it was; but I was wrong to assume I was strong enough.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked. Now tears were running down his face.

“I came to the funeral. I saw you from afar, crying over your father’s grave and I… my heart broke and so did the rest of my body. Balthazar and a nurse that were with me took me back inside the car and I collapsed. When I woke up again, I was back in my room in the institution. It was two months later…”

“Cas…” Dean whispered in a trembling voice, but Cas had finally managed to compose himself and had stopped crying.

“I don’t know what my brother told you the other day, when you talked, right before the wedding that made you change your mind and ask me to come with you. Michael finally knows all this, as does the rest of my family and I know they feel sorry for me. For what I’ve been through and for everything that you and I had to go through, because of it and Dean, I’m really not trying to excuse myself here, ‘cause besides what happened, I truly messed up all on my own. Hiding this from you was an awful mistake and perhaps, if I had put my shame aside about what had really happened to me and had spoken to you when it happened, things would be different now. You would have known why all of this was happening and you wouldn’t have spent all these years thinking that I just abandoned you. At the time I just thought you wouldn’t understand, that you would be mad at me for rejecting our bond. And then it was simply too late. When I was finally okay and had gotten it out of my system, it was already too late for us. I couldn’t just come and mess your life up all over again after more than a year. But now I know I was being stupid. I should have known better. You never would have been mad at me for that, because you’re the sweetest and most understanding person I’ve ever met. I should have let you know what was going on and then the minute it was over I should have come back running to you. But I was a coward and I didn’t know how to do that”, Cas said, looking regretfully inside Dean’s eyes, while Dean was looking back at him with a pained expression on his face, like he was hurting for him. When Cas noticed it he spoke again.  
“I am sorry, Dean and I really want you to forgive me, but I don’t want you to pity me, like I don’t pity you; I just want us to help each other get over all these horrible wounds that were inflicted on us, even if we were partly responsible”, he finished and then waited patiently for the Omega to talk, but Dean just kept looking at him silently, until finally after five minutes or so, he found the will to speak again.

“I do forgive you… for everything. I forgive you. I understand now. I know that these past days you’ve been waiting patiently for me to hear your story. You could have done this from the get go, when I didn’t want to hear it and I wasn’t ready for it, but you waited, even if it meant that I’d still be angry at you. I don’t pity you, Cas, but I do feel hurt listening to this story, even though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, because now I can finally understand. All your brother told me was that you’ve changed and that you’ve been through a lot and you deserve to be finally happy; and I agree. I want this for us. I want us both to be happy and to move forward. Leave our past behind us and make a new start.”

“Thank you, Dean. You need to know that I’m not trying to force you here to make a decision about us. I want you to really think about what you want our relationship to be like. If you want me as just your friend or a guardian angel on your shoulder, whatever it is, I can be that for you. We don’t have to be mates again; at least yet or at all, if that’s what you decide. Let’s just take small steps. The reason I wanted to talk to you about this was because I needed you to understand what the thing that happened between us really was.”

“I know and I don’t want us to rush into anything either”, Dean admitted.

“That night in the abandoned warehouse was proof that even though my body is healed and has stopped rejecting you -but on the contrary it has started longing for you again- we’re not ready for more. Let’s just make a fresh start, starting with bringing you and your brother close again. What do you say?” Cas asked, looking hopeful.

“Yes, I like the sound of that”, Dean agreed and smiled softly at Cas, trying to keep his emotions at bay. He could feel it already that tomorrow would be the start of something new. Tomorrow would be the day that he would leave all the ghosts behind him for good. Sammy was the last person he needed to talk to, to resolve everything that had been troubling his mind for the past years. And regardless of the outcome of his visit, he knew that with Cas by his side, he would be okay.


End file.
